Prompt Fills
by Desperate For Attention
Summary: A collection of Hobbit themed prompt fills, rot your teeth amount of fluff. Mainly Bilbo/Thorin may contain mentions of other pairings.
1. Cuddling - ThorinBilbo

**Title:** Prompt Fills  
**Chapter Title: **N/A**  
Author:** Desperate For Attention  
**Beta Reader: **N.A  
**For:** Whoever wants to read my crap  
**Fandom:** The Hobbit  
**Pairing: **Bilbo Baggins and Thorin Oakenshield  
**Warning:** Really bad spelling and poor Grammar  
**Title song:** N.A  
**Disclaimer: **All characters are property of J. R.R. Tolkien. I have absolutely no claim on any of the characters used within this fic nor am I making any money from the public molestation of them. Nor do I own any of the amazing songs used in the title or within the contents of the fic.  
**Summary: ** A collection of Hobbit themed prompt fills, rot your teeth amount of fluff.

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**1. Cuddling.**

Thorin Oakenshield was great at a many number of things, Bilbo mused. He could kill an Orc with his bare hands and best any member of the company in a good natured brawl; he forged marvellous weapons and could drink twice his body weight in ale.

He could not, however cuddle.

The first time had been a disaster, with Bilbo earning more scrapes and bruises by letting the dwarf snuggle up to him one night than he had fighting off Wargs and Goblins.

Thorin had blamed the Hobbit on his small stature, claiming that had he been taller and more muscled than Thorin wouldn't have had the trouble of entwining their bodies under his cloak. Bilbo had huffed and argued about Thorin being too proud to admit that he was inexperienced and as cuddly as a hedgehog.

That only seemed to make Thorin more determined.

Bilbo wished he's kept his mouth shut.

Because it always went the same way, Bilbo would crawl onto his bedroll, stretch out his sore arms and legs and try to make himself as comfortable as he possibly could. Considering he was sleeping on the ground with nothing but a thin sheet.

Thorin was always the last to turn in, waiting until every member of the company was safely tucked up in their own bedrolls before laying down on his own beside Bilbo. Bilbo for all he was worth tried his hardest not to tense when Thorin kicked him in the shins and narrowly missed hitting him in the face when he threw his arms around the Halfling.

Their heads would crash together in Thorin's attempt to rest his chin in bouncing curls and his knee would almost come up to far between Bilbo's legs, too many times had Bilbo had to quickly pull back to avoid serious injury while pretending to still be asleep.

He'd complain, grumble and argue with Thorin about it in the morning but he never pulled away or asked him to stop, because Thorin was incredible warm with all that fur and Bilbo knew that it wasn't deliberate, he'd heard from various members of the company that Thorin had not been close with anyone in a great number of years, and yes, Bilbo was smaller than him. So maybe that did complicate things.

But mostly, Bilbo understood that Thorin's attempt to cuddle was his way of showing vulnerability and affection, it was the chink in his armour that only Bilbo was allowed to see and even if he wasn't the best at it, Bilbo loved it all the same.

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**Feel free to leave me a prompt!**


	2. Thorin Oakenshield and Bilbo Baggins

**Title:** Prompt Fills  
**Chapter Title: **Hobbits, Dwarves and Dwobbits**  
Author:** Desperate For Attention  
**For:** Whoever wants to read my crap  
**Fandom:** The Hobbit  
**Pairing: **Bilbo Baggins and Thorin Oakenshield  
**Warning:** Really bad spelling and poor Grammar  
**Title song:** N.A  
**Disclaimer: **All characters are property of J. R.R. Tolkien. I have absolutely no claim on any of the characters used within this fic nor am I making any money from the public molestation of them. Nor do I own any of the amazing songs used in the title or within the contents of the fic.

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Prompt: **'I'd love to see Thorin and Bilbo arguing over what race their new born is (Hobbit or Dwarf). I don't care what you call it but bonus points if another dwarf calls it instead, a member of the company preferably.'

**2. ****H****obbits, ****D****warves and ****D****wobbits**

"He is quite obviously a Hobbit." Bilbo huffed. "No dwarf has feet of that extent."

"He's a dwarf." Thorin stated firmly, his tone leaving very little room for discussion.

Not that it had stopped Bilbo before. He could stop drunken brawls and announce that he and Azgog were to marry in that tone and not a dwarf alive would question him, but Bilbo was no dwarf and his days of quietly letting Thorin have his way were long gone.

"You are very much mistaken," Bilbo continued his hands now on his hips and his brow furrowed in frustration. "We have this same disagreement every evening."

"We would not be having a disagreement if you would admit that our son is a dwarf." Thorin scowled crossing his arms over his chest to glare back at the determined hobbit. "Just like his father."

Bilbo hissed. "I am also his father in case certain aspects of my anatomy have escaped your notice! Just because I was the one to carry him does not make me instantly the mother in this relationship."

Thorin spluttered for a second. "I- I was implying no such thing!"

"That boy is ours and he is more Hobbit than he is dwarf, with those curls and those feet he could not be mistaken for anything else."

"With a head of hair like his at that age he is nothing less than a strapping young dwarfling."

"He's a Hobbit!" Bilbo growled, pointing his finger to Thorin's nose when he growled.

"He's a dwarf!"

"He's a Dwobbit!" Kili chirped suddenly, a wide smile spreading across his lips when Thorin and Bilbo turned to acknowledge the prince and his brother both sat uncomfortable beside their tiny cousin's basket on the floor.

"A what?" Thorin asked, glaring when Fili elbowed his brother.

"A Dwobbit? You know half dwarf and half Hobbit? Dwobbit, Fili thought of it!" Kili answered slowly, looking briefly at Fili who was now juggling a giggling Frodo in his lap while trying to make his brother stop talking.

A tactical move to prevent himself being clipped around the ear when Kili continued to mumble nervously and gesture wildly at Fili under Thorin's glare.

"Bofur said it first!" Fili defended. "Kili thought it was cute, I told him not to call him that!"

"It is cute!" Kili threw in with a smile. "He's all soft and warm and adorable like a Hobbit but he looks like a dwarf and has more hair than I did at his age! He's our little Dwobbit cousin."

Bilbo turned to look back at Thorin, a slow smile curling at the corners of his mouth. "A Dwobbit. Seems fitting enough."

Thorin nodded without taking his eyes off the giggling bundle pulling at Fili's braids. "Yes," he agreed with a smile when Bilbo reached up on his tip toes to kiss his cheek in affectionate joy. "Rightful organised too, since he is rather more a dwarf than he is a Hobbit."

"Thorin!"


	3. Happy to have you home - ThorinBilbo

**Prompt: **I've seen so many fics with Fili & Kili playing a matchmaker between Thorin and Bilbo and I find it really cute. But what if Fili & Kili don't want to share their hobbit with their uncle? Thorin is burning with jealousy, Bilbo don't know what to do, and Fili & Kili are being pesky little cockblockers.**  
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** 3. ****I****'m ****H****appy to ****H****ave ****Y****ou ****H****ome**

Erebor was just as glorious as Bilbo had imagined it would be. The stories that Balin and Bofur filled the quite moments of their quest with didn't hold a candle to the sheer beauty etched into stone deep under the mountain. The winding tunnels that carried on for miles and miles always ended in an extravagant hall decorated in finely carved patterns and beautifully sculpted monuments of old Dwarvish warriors and kings.

In his long reign over the mountain Smaug had broken many of the wonders, chipping stone and eradicating certain parts of the stories told on the walls, walls had caved in and pillars that once stood tall enough to touch the ceiling now lay long ways across the floor but still Bilbo fell more and more in love with the mountain on each glance.

He had promised them that he would help regain their home and through all the doubt and the arguments he had caused and the incident with the Arkenstone, he had succeeded and to leave it now seemed like such a shame.

"One day." Thorin began huffing at the pain in his leg as he steadied himself on Bilbo's shoulder. "These halls will hold all the glory that they once did and you will truly see the beauty of Erebor. The rubble should be gone in these coming weeks and dwarves will fill these halls with song and joy once again."

Bilbo nodded, a smile pulling at corners of his mouth as he glanced across to Bofur and Nori excitedly telling Ori tales about their time here in this particular hall, Nori muttering about all the games and gold he had won while Bofur rolled his eyes and told of the songs he had sung and the gold he had lost countless times.

"I would like to stay a while longer," Bilbo admitted keeping his focus on Bofur and Nori now playfully tussling with each other. "If you'd let me, I'd like to stay a while and help with the re-build, I'd like to see more of Erebor."

"You do not need to ask." Thorin stated a slow smile curled at his mouth when Bilbo flushed. "Once we are settled I will show you all that Erebor has to offer, every tunnel and hall you wish to visit. I will show it you all."

"I'd like that."

"There are very few rooms that are suitable for living in at this time." Thorin continued glancing casually over at his snickering Nephews. "If you are to stay, you will need to take up residence with another member of the company. I would be—"

"He can stay with us!" Kili shouted causing Bilbo to jump when the youngest prince threw his arm around Bilbo's shoulder, almost knocking Thorin off kilter as he did so, and smiled widely at him. "Can't he Fili? And it's not like you haven't shared with us before."

"I eh—" Bilbo started, flushing when Fili chuckled and removed Thorin completely from beside the Halfling and threw his own arm around Bilbo's shoulder, almost squashing the poor Hobbit between him and his brother. "That's very kind of you to offer bu—"

"Nonsense!" Fili exclaimed his smile impossibly smug when Thorin glared at the pair of them. "It's settled then! You will stay with me and Kili in our room."

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't hu—" Bilbo began only to have Kili practically jump up and down at the side of him with excitement.

"We can show you around, you haven't seen Erebor before have you? Well neither have we..." Kili paused momentarily sharing a look with Fili before the smile was back on his face and he was excitedly hugging Bilbo's side. "That doesn't matter, we know enough from uncle Thorin, we can show you around and we can tell you everything you need to know."

"Oh, um, I believe that Thorin has already—"

"He'll be too busy." Fili smirked, innocently looking over at Thorin who had folded his arms and was glaring at his nephews suspiciously. "He's got a kingdom to re-build and we'll only be getting in the way. Don't worry, Kili and I will look after you."

This time Bilbo's flush was caused by frustration and he spluttered angrily before pulling away from the two brothers. "I am perfectly capable of looking after myself thank you very much."

"We know!" Kili and Fili laughed together before re-attaching themselves to the burglar.

"Come on Bilbo, our room's this way. It's not the best but it's better than the one that Ori and Dori have, ours at least has a door." Fili laughed steering the hobbit away from the snickering company and a glaring Thorin.

Bilbo threw an apologetic look over his shoulder as Fili and Kili continued to tell him of what they had planned and described briefly the state of the room the three of them were staying in. Thorin tried a small smile but ended up puffing his chest up in irritation at the smug looks mirrored on his nephew's faces as they left the hall, dragging a disgruntled Bilbo Baggins with them.

**# # #**

Bilbo hadn't been expecting much, a fairly decent size room that was covered in dust and looked about ready to cave in was probably the best he was looking at for the night, even then it would have been better than some of the caves he had slept in. So he was pleasantly surprised when Fili and Kili pushed him into what looked to be a long forgotten house under the mountain.

Like Fili had promised there was a door, if you could really call it a door, half hanging off the stone arch entrance that lead into a cosy living area. Some of the furniture had been tipped upside down and thick sheets of dust covered the vast expanse of flooring but Bilbo imagined that it had been quite the cosy little home back when dragons were merely stories parents told to get their children to eat their greens.

Or from what he had seen of Ori, to possibly scare them off anything green.

The doorway to the kitchen had completely fallen through; leaving a huge pile of stone and wood blocking the entrance but Bilbo could just make out an old fashioned stove pushed up against the wall through the tiny land slide that Kili had caused trying to scramble to the top.

"I wonder if they have anything in there," Kili quizzed kicking the loose stones with the toe of his boot. "I couldn't get up far enough to see if there's any real damage."

"Scared of heights? Or perhaps you're worried there is another dragon waiting for you on the other side." Fili snickered teasingly pinching the younger's cheek when Kili scowled at him.

"If it's so easy, you give it a try."

"Don't be ridiculous." Fili snorted. "I could get over and back with my eyes closed."

"Five gold coins."

"Make it 10." Fili countered, Bilbo rolled his eyes when both brothers shook hands and in the same way his brother had Fili scrambled up the rubble.

Moving silently away from Fili and Kili's failed attempts at climbing over the stone and into the kitchen Bilbo pushed open the battered wooden door to the smaller of the two rooms and smiled. It had obviously been used as a child's room, soot smothered toys were lay flat on the floor in a messy heap and the tiny bed looked ready to give under the strain of the mattress at any moment. A wardrobe filled with moth eaten clothes and a thread bare rug in the centre.

Like in the many Halls they had passed the blank stone wall had intricate carvings, adventures and stories that covered the space of the wall. He knew that Fili and Kili would share the larger room, so Bilbo threw his bedroll down onto the floor of the smallest room and promptly collapsed on top of it with a tired groan.

"Uh, Bilbo?" Kili mumbled, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as he stood in the door way of the room. "We've got a slight problem."

Bilbo shot up almost instantly his eyes wide and frantic. "Is it Fili? Has he hurt himself? How many times do I have to tell you boys –"

"He's fine!" Kili interrupted quickly. "I mean he will be, if he can get back over."

Bilbo realised that he was going to regret this very quickly.

**# # #**

Breakfast very nearly made getting up early bearable. Armed with enough egg, bacon and bread to feed an army Bombur had wasted no time in rustling up a feast for his hungry kinsmen. The rickety old table Bofur and Dwalin had dragged into the dining hall was piled high with Bomburs rashers of bacon and rolls, eggs of each kind spread out across the table with pancakes and jam tarts. More sausages than Nori could count and plenty more still sat in the kitchen over the wood burning stove.

"Bombur," Kili said as he sat down and stared hungrily at each of the plates laid out in front of him. "You're unquestionably my favourite member of the company right now."

There was a round of cheers and Bofur slapped his brother proudly on the shoulder.

"Where's Bilbo? Not like him to be late for breakfast." Bofur laughed when Kili and Fili shared a devious look between them and then looked at Thorin.

"I'm sure he'll be about," Fili smiled.

"Probably still asleep," Nori threw in; ignoring the way Dori elbowed him. "What? I'm just saying that he was probably up most of the night."

Kili nodded. "We were all still at it pretty late last night and he's not as resilient as a pair of young dwarves in their prime." He added almost choking on his breakfast when Thorin stood abruptly and snarled at the pair of them before stalking out in a huff. "Too far?"

"Too far, laddie." Bofur confirmed before reaching over to steal a pancake from Nori's plate.

"Hey!"

**# # #**

Bilbo wasn't sure if he should have been thankful that Fili and Kili had left him to sleep or annoyed that the pair of them had obviously buggered off to breakfast without him. Tugging distractedly at his buttons he stepped out of the door and right into Thorin.

"Mister Baggins."

"Your majesty?" Bilbo tried anxiously when Thorin crossed his arms over his chest and looked disapprovingly at him.

"Thorin is fine." Thorin rumbled, turning his eyes away from the Hobbit when Bilbo flushed happily and smiled up at him. "I trust that you slept well? That my Nephews did not... cause you too much trouble."

"Well I certainly didn't expect to be so active after all we had done during the day." Bilbo sighed and Thorin felt his entire body stiffen. "I am even sorer now than I was yesterday, no thanks to your nephews. Compared to how they were last night, I would say that they were rather tame on our little quest."

Thorin cleared his throat and blushed furiously at Bilbo's words.

"Yes well—what happens behind closed doors."

"Although I suppose it gave me a rough idea as to what it will be like for the next few months." Bilbo continued still smiling at Thorin as if he wasn't speaking about himself and his nephew and their private relations. "I suppose it won't be so much work with the rest of the company chipping in."

Thorin's brow drew together and he glanced down at the innocently sincere look on Bilbo's face, they were obviously talking about very different things. "What are you talking about?"

Bilbo frowned at him. "Clearing the rubble in Fili and Kili's chambers." Bilbo answered slowly and if Thorin's skipped heart beat quickly returned to a normal rhythmic state and he sighed with relief before allowing a bright smile and laugh to light up his face, then it was nobody's business but his own.

"Of course."

"What were you—"

"Bilbo!" Kili cried excitedly as he rounded the corner and crashed into the burglar, Fili following close behind at a more levelled pace, his smile innocently smug as he watched Thorin puff up in an attempt to chastise young Kili "Come, you have to try Bombur's strawberry tarts."

"Kili, Thorin and I are—"

"No, those greedy buggers will have eaten everything by the time you get down there." Kili continued pulling at Bilbo's wrist until Thorin nodded in the direction of the Hobbit and Bilbo miserably let himself be led away by the prince.

Thorin folded his arms and turned to stare at Fili, innocently waiting patiently behind his uncle, all doting smiles and that increasingly irritating look on his face. "What are you and your brother doing with my Hobbit?"

"He isn't your hobbit," Fili answered plainly. "He's our Hobbit."

Thorin couldn't quite work out if Fili was referring to him and his brother or the company in general. "Do you have intentions towards him?"

Fili's appalled spluttering only lifted Thorin's spirits and he smiled down at his heir.

# # #

It had been almost two weeks since Bilbo had spent any time with Thorin without Fili and Kili flanking him and glaring at their scowling uncle. Not that he was counting or anything, it just seemed that if Thorin even attempted to come within touching distance either Fili or Kili were pulling him away with something to show him or something to say.

They had taken to stealing secretive looks over breakfast and childishly sending tomes via Balin and Dwalin during the evenings, Thorin always replied, being the one to instigate it in the first place by sending Bilbo a long letter about one of the halls through Bofur who handed it him with a smile and wink.

They were always tales of Erebor, detailed descriptions of some of the warrior monuments that Fili and Kili had taken him to see during the day, some of it a repeat of what the princes themselves had told him but more informative, little translation to the scribbles he had seen on the walls that Bilbo had been talking about over dinner.

Bilbo was happy to carry on that way for now.

Thorin however was fed up with sending secret messages like a love-sick tween forbidden to see their desired intended. Instead he gave to Balin a small folded letter and requested that he give it to Bilbo over breakfast when Fili and Kili were too busy praising Bombur on his cooking.

Opening the letter under the table, Bilbo quickly read it and smiled at Thorin. A single destination and time scribbled on the paper from the king and a request not to mention anything to the others, especially not to Fili and Kili who were both chortling along with Bofur and Nori. He nodded before folding it back up and stuffing it into his pocket with a firm nod.

# # #

Bilbo managed to get as far as the kitchen before Fili and Kili rounded the corner suddenly, almost knocking him over in the process. Both brothers scrambled to steady the hobbit's shoulders and apologizing profoundly. The commotion seemed to draw the attention of the others who rounded the corner Thorin amongst them.

Both burglar and king shared a look before Thorin shook his head and stormed off in a frustrated huff. Balin sighed and smiled softly at Bilbo who despite all of Fili and Kili's fussing stared after the king with a frown. He didn't get a letter the next morning and Thorin didn't come down to eat with the rest of the company.

Fili and Kili almost looked ashamed of themselves when Dwalin glared at them after inquiring after their uncle.

# # #

It was another two weeks before Bilbo himself had had enough, he hadn't seen or heard from the king in days and despite all of his protest he missed the arrogant sod. He missed sitting down and listening to Thorin talk about Erebor and Dragons and he missed just looking at those lovely ice blue eyes and those soft smiles that were few and far between.

Letting the Took side of his family line take over he stormed up to the royal chambers, Fili and Kili desperately trying to keep up with him and talk him back to their own chambers and threw open the door to glare at Thorin.

"Can I help you master Baggins?" Balin asked a large welcoming smile on his face when Thorin only turned his attention back down to the map sprawled out across the table.

"I want to talk to Thorin," Bilbo stated his hands on his hips and his face flushed with determination. Fili and Kili instantly moved to saddle up beside the hobbit, their bodies so close that Bilbo felt even smaller and constricted than he did between them at night.

"I am busy, _Halfling._" Thorin sneered. "In case it has slipped your notice I have a kingdom in dire need of my attention. I'm sure that my nephews are keeping you well and truly entertained." There was a bitter bite to his tone and he looked directly at the two dwarves boxing Bilbo in before looking at the Hobbit himself. "If you will excuse me Mr, Baggins." Thorin ended with a frown before turning back to Balin and the map spread out on the table in front of them.

By rights Bilbo should have walked away, a polite hobbit would have nodded, apologized and then walked back the way he had come. Feeling guilty about disturbing a man who was far too busy and important to waste time listening to a silly little Hobbit.

But it had been said a thousand times over, Bilbo Baggins was no longer an ordinary hobbit and he'd be damned if he was going to let Thorin push him away.

"I miss you!" Bilbo shouted, pushing away from Fili and Kili when the pair tensed on either side of him.

Thorin lifted his head instantly, piercing blue eyes a soft colour of frustration when they landed on Bilbo flushed bright red and shaking with nervous determination. Thorin opened his mouth to say something but Bilbo jumped right back in, suddenly soft and polite all over again as Fili and Kili attempted to reach out and possibly tug Bilbo back into the safety of their little group.

Just as they had done in Mirkwood, the three of them ridiculously squeezed together under a single blanket by the fire, all protective hands and comforting squeezes when the trees would crack and those hideous red eyes would stare at them all through the tree line.

"Don't get me wrong, I like spending time with you boys." Bilbo started looking over at Fili and Kili with a small smile before turning back to Thorin. "But I didn't just want to stay here so that I could look at stones and ruin all of my clothes again. I wanted to stay because I didn't want to go back to the Shire and never see you again Thorin."

Bilbo's cheeks flushed an even darker shade of red when finally the Baggin's part of his heart won out and he shook nervously under Thorin's piercing blue eyes, feeling even smaller now than he had all those months ago back in Bag End.

"I'm sorry-" Bilbo began, his heart a thundering mess when Thorin slammed his fists on the table and glared at the three of them.

"Everybody out!" He demanded, and for once Fili and Kili didn't need to be told twice. Balin quickly gathering up the maps, Bilbo jumped turning towards the door in as much a hurry as Fili and Kili before Thorin spoke again. "Except you master Baggins. I wish to speak with you."

"I'm sorry—" Bilbo tried again stepping back when Thorin thundered across the room, his jaw set heavily in a straight line when he came toe-to-toe with the Halfling. "Thorin—"

Bilbo felt his entire body ignite in a blush when chapped lips fell upon his own, rough finger tips brushing up across his arm to tangle in soft curls. All too quickly he relaxed into Thorin's advance, melting against the hard body in front of him and tangling his hands desperately in the thick fur of the king's cloak and kissed back.

"My nephews are troublesome," Thorin mumbled against Bilbo's smile. "I would be honoured if you were to remain here with me in my chambers. Away from their meddling hands and smug smiles."

Bilbo only laughed pulling at Thorin's coat and reaching up on his tip toes to seal his mouth over the kings once more.


	4. Love you more BilboBifur

**Prompt: **I would love to see some Dwarves try to court Bilbo (Unsuccessfully) openly, while another is doing so in secret and without words and succeeds to win Bilbo over. Preferred winner in this form me would be Bifur, please. Something unusual, cute? That has Bilbo puzzled first but once getting it, liking it a lot?

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**4. No way to Say I love you more**

"_Here._"

Bilbo almost stumbled on his own two feet at the wooden figurine shoved under his nose.

"_Here._" Bifur repeated his rough Khuzdul making Bilbo jump.

Bilbo took it hesitantly, looking just past Bifur's shoulder to the rest of the company walking on ahead, none of them taking any notice of Bifur and Bilbo's sudden stop. "Um, thank-you?"

Bifur's face broke out into the widest smile Bilbo had ever seen. He bowed once before hurrying to catch up with the rest of the company and fall into step with his cousins.

Looking down at the figure Bilbo found himself with a hand full of Half a Hobbit. Not just any Hobbit, but himself. Half a Bilbo Baggins with wooden brass buttons and curly wooden hair.

Odd. Bilbo mused running his fingers across the smoothly carved wood and watching curiously as Bifur joined with his cousins without even looking back at the Hobbit. Out of the entire company Bilbo had spent the least amount of time with Bifur, admittedly that had been out of fear for the first few days but he had warmed to the dwarf eventually.

Not enough that he would deserve a gift from said dwarf, especially not one that looked as though it had taken Bifur many days and nights to get right. Unlike the gifts Kili and Fili had been throwing at him over the last week.

Not that he wasn't grateful to feel like a member of the company at last, it was unexpected especially when Bifur had hardly said two words to him and had been the one to prod and poke at him most days.

No one seemed to notice Bilbo idly turning the wooden model of himself between his fingers with fond appreciation to Bifur's gift and a small part of him was grateful of the fact.

Slipping it into his pocket, Bilbo straightened out his waistcoat and jogged to catch up to the rest of them, falling into step with Ori and Dori. He didn't think of Bifur's gift for the rest of the day but he made sure to add an extra helping to Bifur's dinner that night as a thank-you.

**# # #**

Bilbo woke the next morning and only just managed not to scream at Bifur leaning over him with a rough smile and a bowl of cold porridge in his hand. His finger pressed to his lips in an attempt to 'shh' the startled Hobbit.

Looking down at the offered bowl and then back at the dwarf Bilbo smiled weakly and thanked him shakily.

Bifur made no move to move away and Bilbo swallowed the lump in his throat nervously before lifting the spoon to his mouth and swallowing a mouthful of porridge with an appreciative noise.

Bifur nodded and grunted something in Khuzdul before patting the Hobbit on the head like a well behaved dog and heading back to a still sleeping Bofur and Bombur with a bunch of half eaten flowers and fresh broken clump of wood.

Bilbo sat up, still looking down at the bowl of porridge in his hands. It was early and the rest of the company, were still tucked up in their bedrolls asleep. Bilbo was almost jealous of the lot of them, but one look at Bifur whittling away quietly between his cousins with a soft almost sane smile made Bilbo carry on eating the cold porridge before trying to go back to bed.

He would never understand dwarves.

# # #

Kili and Fili were next, once they had woken up, pushing bread and honey into Bilbo's hands over breakfast with wide confident smiles.

The rest of the company had turned to watch the three of them and Bilbo flushed under the attention, looking down at the offered bread and then to the two brothers offering it to him. Bilbo shook his head apologetically and handed it back to the prince's.

"I couldn't," He smiled, confused when both Kili and Fili frowned. "I've already eaten."

Bifur's smile seemed to be even wider when Bilbo looked at the company over Fili's shoulder each of them looking as stunned as the two princes did before they broke out into hushed mumbles and snickers.

Fili and Kili bowed respectively and hurried back to their uncle disappointed.

# # #

Unfortunately Bilbo did in fact stumble on his own two feet when Bifur shoved a bouquet of bruised flowers under his nose while they were walking.

Grunting Bifur threw the flowers onto Bilbo's chest and turned back to walk with his cousins. Bilbo wasn't sure if he was flattered or insulted by Bifur's lack of sympathy. Clutching at the flowers Bilbo sat up a little more and examined the array of brightly coloured petals, none of which looked as though they had been eaten.

Climbing to his feet, the flowers clutched tightly in his hand, Bilbo brushed the dust from his clothes and glared at the dwarves giggling at him ahead, Fili and Kili being the only two to push past Thorin's impatient grunting and look the Hobbit over for injuries, Bifur scowled but carried on walking, tugging Bofur and Bombur along with him.

"Now isn't the time to pick flowers, Master Baggins." Kili smiled, patting him on the back.

"I didn—"

"Kili and I will gladly gather flowers for you." Fili interrupted with a wide smile. "If that is what you would like?"

Like he had this morning, Bilbo smiled but shook his head and the two princes looked just as confused and disappointed as they had that morning.

# # #

It was another week before Bilbo found Bifur's hand shoved under his nose again. This time with a fur coat draped through his fingers and the most endearing smile that Bilbo had ever seen.

Bilbo was sat up against a log on the outskirts of where the company were eating and singing merrily with each other, hiding from Fili and Kili who had taken it upon themselves to become the Hobbits body guards and blankets over the last two days.

They were damn near insufferable, he couldn't take two steps without the pair of them wrapping their arms around his neck with boyish smiles and questions of where he was going, followed by offering to braid his hair in front of the others and asking loudly after they had washed if Bilbo would braid theirs.

Bilbo had declined on both accounts and although the princes looked disappointed, they recovered quickly and seemed all the more determined. Showing him their wares while they were hunting and telling him their glorious victories over the fire, pushing gems and coins into his hands whenever another member of the company approached him. Many of which he had given right back.

Bifur grunted something at him and Bilbo turned his attention up to the dwarf now sitting on the fallen log that Bilbo was rested against.

Bifur grunted again, and Bilbo wished more than ever that he could understand what Bifur was trying to say, before laying the coat over Bilbo's shoulders. Bilbo hadn't realised just how cold he was until he was wrapped in the comfortable heat of Bifur's coat, the musky scent of Bifur calming Bilbo's anxiety and setting a flush upon his cheeks.

He hadn't felt this safe since leaving The Shire.

Sighing contently, Bilbo smiled and thanked Bifur with enough affection that Bifur flushed and kicked his foot like a love sick tween, grinning wide and welcoming enough for Bilbo to scoot closer and press the length of his side against Bifur's leg.

They stayed that way until the fire had died and Bofur had come to fetch them for bed.

# # #

"- I just don't understand." Bilbo groaned throwing his hands up in frustration. "I found Kili trying to braid my hair while I was asleep this morning."

Bofur laughed cheerily and slapped the Hobbit on the back sympathetically. Bifur grunted something foul sounding from behind the pair of them, but smiled when Bilbo turned to look at him.

"Don't worry about it laddie. They'll stop as soon as they see you aren't interested." Bofur smiled.

"When they realise I'm not interested in what?"

"Their courting of course!" Bofur said merrily.

Bilbo stopped abruptly his eyes wide and Bofur stepped back in order to join him. "C-courting me?! They're courting me?!"

"Of course they are! Have been for a while now. They aren't exactly subtle about it." Bofur commented eyeing Bifur as he snorted again and stomped on ahead with the others. "You didn't know?"

"No!" Bilbo protested his cheeks flushed. "And you all know?"

"Of course! They're the princes of Erebor and you know Fili and Kili just as well as the rest of us. They don't do anything that doesn't make them the centre of attention, not that it's a bad thing mind." Bofur smiled. "If more dwarves were open about it, certain members of the company wouldn't have to spend half of the night listening to them curse."

Bifur's head turned sharply to glare at his cousin's wide smirk.

"Dwarven courtship is long winded, it can take months for a courting couple to final decide on each other and with a quest like this there just isn't the time for subtly."

"How do I—how can I show them I'm not interested?" Bilbo asked eyeing the two princes as they tussled playfully behind Thorin.

"Yer doing a pretty grand job of that as it is." Bofur laughed.

"Then why are they still trying?"

Bofur shrugged but his smile still wide and cheerful despite the hideous looks Bifur was throwing at him.

"What if I told them?"

"Told them what?" Bofur asked.

"That I wasn't interested in their courting, that would make them stop wouldn't it?"

"Aye." Bofur snickered. "I for one would love to see you try, laddie." He added patting Bilbo on the back.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Yer a soft one, lad. You couldn't break those poor boys hearts like that even if you wanted to."

"Watch me!" Bilbo huffed his brow furrowed in determination as he stalked on ahead, ignoring Bofur's cheerful laughter as he stomped over to the grinning princes. "Fili, Kili, can I-"

"Master Baggins!" Fili smiled, Kili slinging his arm across Bilbo's shoulder in an awkward embrace. "What can we do for you?"

"Yes, well, um. It has come to my attention that you—" He paused when Kili and Fili both beamed at him with enough charm that Bilbo lost his train of thought for a second and flushed.

His whole determination faded when Kili pushed a still blossoming rose into his hand. "Fili and me found it this morning, we thought you'd like it. I bet the roses in your garden will be blooming soon enough." His smile was earnest and soft enough that Bilbo smiled back and took it with a whispered thanks.

"What was it you wanted to say, Bilbo?" Fili asked smiling the same soft smile as his brother.

Glancing over his shoulder at Bofur, Bilbo felt his whole body sag in defeat. Bofur's floppy hat was bouncing on his head from laughter and he was giving Bilbo an encouraging thumbs up. Bifur glaring at him.

"Nothing."

# # #

Over the last few nights Fili and Kili's bedrolls had been suspiciously moving closer to where Bilbo would lay his at night. Just a few meters at a time, hardly noticeable until Bofur had pointed out that the pair of them were in fact attempting to court him and suddenly the space between them was in fact very small.

Had he rolled just a little more to the left the night before he would have ended up wrapped in Fili's arms.

Rather than setting his bedroll down just away from the others like he had been doing most nights, Bilbo instead anxiously rolled it out just beside Bifur who was too busy whittling away at a piece of wood to notice the Hobbit nervously kicking his feet.

"Can I sleep here?" Bilbo asked furrowing his brow in determination when Bifur paused what he was doing and looked up at the Hobbit and then down to his bedroll.

"_No._" Bifur grunted and Bilbo looked even more anxious and lost.

"He said, yes." Bofur smiled, once again smiling through the glare given by his older cousin.

Bilbo's smile was wide and thankful, enough so that when Bifur turned back to tell him to go away, he paused and nodded his head all too enthusiastically.

"What are you making?" Bilbo asked, settling into his bedroll.

Bifur grunted and turned on his bedroll until he was facing Bombur a daring look thrown over his shoulder when Bilbo looked ready to ask again.

Bofur laughed, dragging his bedroll around until he was lying beside Bilbo, his smile impossibly wide and knowing when the Hobbit opened his mouth to ask after Bifur's latest model. He had seen it, many a times. His cousin was incredibly talented, almost enough to make Bombur and Bofur forget that he was in fact a miner and not a toy maker.

They had lived very comfortably on the money earned by Bifur's skill at crafting toys, a skill that he had taught Bofur once he had decided to take on a job with his cousin, adding to the funds used to put food on the table and a roof over their heads. It had been hard, his hand crafted to mine rather than scratch tiny details into wood, but it kept them happy and Bofur would be lying if he said that he didn't like the bright smiles his models brought to the offspring of men and dwarves.

"Don't worry, you'll be seeing it soon enough." Bofur laughed rolling onto his side when Bilbo's brow drew together in confusion.

# # #

Bilbo found the model almost three weeks after he had asked Bifur about it. He was lying by the fire, Fili and Kili laying just an arm's length away and a small wooden figure rested on his chest.

Sitting up he watched as it fell into his lap and with a tired yawn Bilbo lifted it up and felt his cheeks burn with a blush. It was Bifur, half of him at least, a strange sort of smile on the dwarves face and a little wooden axe sticking out of the head.

Fumbling with the pocket of his waist coat, Bilbo withdrew the half a model of himself under the watchful eye of Bofur and shakily pressed the roughly chipped halves together until they fit perfectly.

The meaning was undeniable and without thinking Bilbo looked over at the still sleeping Bifur and smiled wide and loving, doting and thankful at the dwarf.

"It's a courting gift," Bofur whispered when Bilbo came to sit beside him on watch.

"I know." Bilbo smiled still holding the two pieces together. "It's very good."

"Yeah, he's been at it for weeks." Bofur laughed softly, his voice low, sombre and soft as he watched Bilbo smile down at Bifur's gift. "I know he's probably not yer first choice, if even that. But he's a good en', he'd look after ye and ye'd never want for anything."

Bilbo didn't say anything, instead turning his gaze up and over the hills.

"He's no prince of Erebor." Bofur laughed, "He's not all there either most of the time either, but ye learn to live with that. It's sickeningly sweet at times." Bofur continued.

As if Bilbo wasn't already quite taken with the dwarf.

"Bofur."

"Hmm?"

"How do dwarves usually accept a courtship?" Bilbo asked, running his fingers over the wooden axe in Bifur's hair when the dwarf grinned at him.

# # #

"Uh, Master Bifur." Bilbo flushed nervously in front of Bifur, a bowl of porridge in one hand and a banquet of flowers in the other. His cheeks the brightest shade of pink any of the dwarves had ever seen.

Fili and Kili had stopped eating altogether when Bifur looked up from his whittling and smiled softly at the Hobbit.

"I—uh these are for you." Bilbo rushed shoving the porridge and flowers into the already occupied hands of his intended. "A-as a token of my affection, an—and as an acceptance of your courtship."

Bifur nodded and set the flowers down by his feet after biting off one of the heads and the porridge followed after, Bilbo scrunched up his face in confusion but it was short lived when the dwarf tugged him down until he was sat with his back between Bifur's legs. His cheeks even more flushed.

The dwarves fingers suddenly in his hair, pulling and tugging at a braid that seemed to be the most fascinating thing any of the company had ever seen, given the slack jaws and wide eyes. Bilbo tried not to tense up under the attention.

Instead he relaxed against Bifur, worrying his bottom lip until he saw Bifur reach for the wooden bead he had been whittling before Bilbo had interrupted him and fastened it into Bilbo's hair. Reaching attentive fingers around to the back of his head Bilbo ran his fingers down the little braid behind his ear with an excited smile.

Bifur's coat was thrown over his shoulder not long after and by then the rest of the company had turned back to their breakfast with hushed conversation and odd looks towards the Hobbit and his dwarf.

Bilbo turned his head slightly, to watch Bifur pick apart and eat the flowers he had spent most of the morning gathering. "Bofur's showing me how to make a bead." He began smiling when Bifur paused. "I'm sure I could court you in the hobbit way until it's finished."

Bifur's smile was wide and he ruffled Bilbo's hair affectionately.

Bilbo was glad that he had left The Shire.


	5. Ace of Hearts NoriBofur

**Prompt: **I love the idea of the whole Dwarves only love once. I'd like to see Bofur meeting his one before the quest, maybe he doesn't say anything until he sees them again at Bilbo's home?

**5. Ace of Hearts **

Bofur met his one the same way most dwarves meet, with a pint of ale in one hand and a set of cards in the other.

It wasn't the first time he had seen the theif, Bofur had seen Nori before in and around town, usually being dragged through the streets by a furious looking Dwalin and the rest of the guard not far behind. Nori and handcuffs Bofur had quickly learnt went hand in hand. Literally.

Of course that had only been a fleeting glance, it was three days later that he finally had a chance to sit down and talk to him, really look at his fine star-shaped hair and articulated braids, that thick bulbous nose and those sharp moss eyes that Bofur could easily lose himself in.

It had been Bifur's fault they had even met officially, much to his cousin's chargin'. Had he have known that Bofur would fall madly in love with the thief he would have took his younger cousin by the shoulders and steered him in the other direction.

Bofur had fallen hard and fast, the moment he had fallen into the seat, intending to have one quick game of cards and be on his way with enough coin to last him at least to the end of the week. But Nori had looked up at him with a smug smirk and a wink and Bofur had found himself rooted to his chair.

His hands and knees shaking and his heart pounding loud enough that it rang in his ears, he flushed, quite unbecomingly and fidgeted with his gloves and scarf until Nori looked back down at his winnings and then at his cards. "Ye fancy a game?"

Bofur had nodded so fast he almost lost his hat in the excitement.

**# # #**

Card games it seemed had become a regular occurrence, Nori would sit at the same table at the end of the bar, his head down and two tankards of ale just at the edge of the table. He'd look up when Bofur sat down with a snorted laugh and gulped down his ale as though he was only going to be having the one.

"Bifur know you're here?" Nori asked, shuffling the deck of cards when Bofur rolled his eyes.

"Of course he doesn't."

"Just a quick one then?" Nori smirked dealing Bofur a hand that had already been fixed to loose.

Despite all their games and the playful banter, the soft affectionate looks and the way Nori let Bofur win at least one game before the end of the night every week. Bofur could see that he was very much alone in his feelings.

He was either not Nori's One, or the other just hadn't noticed yet. As much as he hoped for the latter the more time went by, the more it seemed that Nori was never going to return his feelings, there was never going to be more than friendship and cards between them.

Bofur wanted more, he always had. He wasn't the kind of dwarf to have one night stands and bat his eyelashes to get what he wanted. He was too soft and loyal to have just fleeting touches, his One didn't want him and he was still hanging on by a thread at the very slim chance Nori would one day look at him as if he was the only dwarf in middle-earth.

**# # #**

Bofur had never felt as much of an idiot as he did the night he'd let it slip that Nori was his One.

Bofur hadn't even seen the thief, sat a few tables away from his own. Nestled between his brothers while continually looking over at Bofur's table when he heard the toy maker laugh or cheer. Dori had insisted that he go over and say hello, mumbled about how impolite it was to ignore him just because he and Ori were there.

Nori had protested but then Ori had joined in as well and before he knew what he was doing he was on his feet making his way over to where Bofur had his arm slung around Bombur's shoulder with a mug of ale in his hand.

"He's definitely my One!" Bofur cheered and Nori felt himself stop mid-step.

"Who?"

"Nori, we've been playing cards almost all week. He's definitely the One." Bofur snorted pinching Bombur's cheek with a smile and a frown when Bifur elbowed him in the side and grunted. "What?"

Bifur tilted his head to the side, gesturing at a very flushed and uncomfortable looking Nori just a few paces behind him. Bofur felt his face drain of colour and he stiffed in his chair beside Bombur wide eyed and panicked.

They stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime, Bofur's cheeks now flushed with a deep red and his mouth moving animatedly to no words, his heart rate fluctuated when Nori seemed to finally register what Bofur had said and he looked away before shaking his head.

"Sorry—I uh, no. Sorry, no." Nori mumbled before turning quickly and rushing out of the door. Dori and Ori quickly following behind their brother with a quizzical look in Bofur's directions.

Bofur felt his heart break almost as quickly as Nori had built it on their first game. He had been rejected, not only by his One but in front of his own family, his heart sank and his throat ached painfully at the threaten of on-coming tears. Bombur was quick to wrap his arm around Bofur's shoulder when he finally surrendered to his body and slumped lifelessly into his seat.

He didn't see Nori again for almost 50 Years.

**# # #**

Bofur never forgot about Nori, he couldn't. Ori still came to the stall in the market and purchased toys that he intended to draw, Dori still spoke to him in the streets but they never spoke about Nori. Bofur didn't know if the dwarf ever even planned to come back, so Bofur tried to put it behind him and move on.

He started working more and playing cards more with strangers in the tavern, he started to laugh and joke with Bombur and Bifur again and told Ori that he could have what he wanted as long as he remembered Bofur when he was a famous scribe and eventually he stopped thinking of Nori, just stopped and everything went on as it had before he had even met his One.

Until he arrived at Bag End,

His decision to go the quest with Thorin and his company had been an easy one to make, Bifur longed to go home as did Bombur and there was no way he was going to send them both off without him, not to mention someone had said that there would be free ale on the way.

He was onto his third tankard of Ale when a rough hand slapped a beaten old card down onto the table beside him, he had jumped and scowled, intending to scold whoever had thumped their hand down so carelessly but stopped when he was met with soft unsure green eyes and a soft nervous smile.

Nori.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, pushing the card closer to Bofur's hand before bowing and moving away to re-join Dori and Gloin's company across the kitchen, poor Bilbo Baggins darting out from between the three of them all flustered and frustrated.

Bofur felt his throat close up again as he fingered the up side down card at his fingertips. He hadn't even seen Nori arrive, hadn't even known that he had signed up for it, it had been nearly 50 Years and there he was again in Bofur's life, exactly the same.

"Turn it over," Bombur encouraged, sloshing his ale onto Bilbo's floor and Bofur's lap.

Bofur could see from the corner of his eye that Nori was watching him, still unsure and anxious as Bombur huffed and moved on to more exciting and edible things. Bofur pulled the card to the edge of the table and flipped it over with a deep breath.

"It's the ace of hearts," Nori mumbled settling in opposite the dwarf, Bofur wanted to make a sarcastic remark but he couldn't. "Ace cards can have two meanings, they can be plaid as an 11 or as 1." Nori flushed. "I was hoping that you'd take that as a One."

"But ye left." Bofur noted dryly.

"I'm not an ideal mate, Bofur." Nori laughed. "I lie a lot and cheat. I disappear for months with no consideration to anyone around me, I don't do well in relationships. You deserve better and I'm sorry that out of every dwarf here, you had to be saddled with me."

"I didn't want better." Bofur pointed out with a shake of the head.

"I'm sorry I left and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. You're my One too. I was stupid and I didn't come back even when I realised because I knew I'd messed up. Dori and Ori were furious." Nori mumbled. "I'm sorry, I really am."

"I know." Bofur smiled, his heart suddenly ten times lighter when Nori smiled right back at him and took his hand across the table. "I'm keeping this ye know." He added flashing the card between his fingers.

"It's yours." Nori mumbled. "For as long as you'll have me."


	6. Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus

**Prompt: **After they defeated Smaug, Bilbo found a tiny dragonling that Smaug left. Maybe he can accidentally see the egg hatching and the imprinted himself on the dragonling? Thorin and the rest of the company want it killed, but Bilbo thinks that the dragonling is innocent. After no small effort in convincing them (might involve a lot of reasoning and begging), Thorin gave up on the stubborn hobbit and lets him keep it. Their relationship is going to be strained after this but maybe the dragonling can bring them back closer together?

* * *

**6. Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus  
****(Never Tickle a sleeping Dragon)**

Dragons, Thorin thought were treasure hungry monster that lusted after shiny gold coins and clean cut gems. He imagined them all the same way he had imagined Smaug. With sharp eyes the colour of Hell and teeth sharp enough to pierce the strongest of metals.

In reality he found that Dragons were not all that he had thought.

Especially not Bilbo's dragon.

Because Bilbo's dragon was small and cuddly with big blue eyes and needle like teeth that could hardly puncture parchment never mind flesh and bone. It didn't growl and burn everything that moved, instead it chirped merrily and rubbed affectionately against anyone who came close enough.

It would follow Thorin around Erebor and try to help clear away the rubble, it would try fruitlessly to fly onto Bilbo's shoulder or Thorin's lap and crawl into bed with Thorin in the morning when Bilbo went to make the breakfast. Licking at the tip of his nose and nuzzling his cheek.

Thorin had become as attached to the dragonling as Bilbo had. Despite all the arguments it had brought on in the first place and the distress it had caused many of the company and a range of other dwarves coming down from the Blue Mountains.

They had argued over the chick for weeks, continual rowing back and forth for hours, followed by days without even acknowledging that the other was there. Bilbo had almost left and Thorin had almost let him but then that damn Dragon had hidden under the bed and refused to come out.

Bilbo and Thorin's argument had carried on over the bed as each of them took turns in trying to flush to drake out.

It had taken almost the whole day but eventually Thorin had threw his hands up and begged Bilbo to stay, that he was sorry and that he didn't want to lose the Hobbit again over something as idiotic as a Dragon hatchling.

Bilbo had agreed and as if on cue, Bilbo's dragon had crawled out from under the bed and sat itself beside Bilbo's packed chest, gnawing at the clasp to get it open.

Things were still strained in the weeks that followed but Thorin quickly adjusted to having the Dragon around just like the others had, he let it come and lay at his feet and threw the odd gold coin down for it to add to its nest beside his and Bilbo's bed.

He started lifting it up and settling it down on the headrest of the chair while he read and clicked his tongue to get it to follow him for a walk. And eventually Thorin grew attached and stopped telling everyone that it was Bilbo's dragon and instead started to refer to it as their Dragon.

And the change he saw in Bilbo as he started to warm to the Dragon made all of his previous behaviour look so absurd.

Bilbo would always smile when Thorin came to stand beside him in the kitchen with the Hatchling on his shoulders or in his arms, he always kissed Thorin on the head or the cheek when he came home to find them both asleep in the chair.

He always crawled straight back into bed with his tea and breakfast in the morning and nuzzled and kissed Thorin until it had all gone cold and he'd have to get up and start again while the Dragon yipped and bounced excitedly at their feet.

As much as he had hated the creature in the first place, he found it hard not to love it and the effect it had on himself and Thorin. Despite how unconventional it was and how ridiculous it sounded the day Bilbo had found that egg and fought to keep the chick was the day Thorin got what he wanted the most.

Family.


	7. Pretend you don't Remember BilboThorin

**Prompt: **Hobbits live half the life span of dwarves and Bilbo is already halfway through his lifespan.

**7. Pretend you don't remember**

The average Hobbit could live until they reach the ripe old age of 100, not that many of them made it passed the mile stone of 90. There had only ever been one Hobbit rumoured to outlive their life expectancy and none had followed him.

Unlike dwarves who could live long past their expectancy and would see a whole 100 years more than a healthy Hobbit thriving on life in the Shire. Thorin was painfully aware that Bilbo was half way through his life-span while Thorin himself was only in his prime.

He had many more years to look forward to as king under the mountain, but Bilbo did not. Bilbo if he was lucky had another 50 years to look forward to beside Thorin and as hard as it was for Thorin to accept, he tried not to dwell on it too much.

Thorin had been scandalised the first time Bilbo had revealed his age to the company. 50! He was practically a baby to them, even little Ori had seen twice the summers that Bilbo had, he felt a whirl of disappointment until Bilbo had huffed that it was a respectable age for a Hobbit.

That by traditional standards he was far too old now to not have a wife and a home full of pudgy children. Thorin was still sceptical about his feelings but had quickly let them slide when Gandalf had 'discreetly' mentioned that Hobbits did not live as long as dwarves did and that Bilbo was already half way through his.

They hadn't brought up Bilbo's age since.

Each year that passed Thorin held his breath and wished Bilbo a happy birthday, easily avoiding mention the number of years Bilbo had lived and how many more he had. Bilbo didn't bring up his age either and they forgot for a while that Bilbo wasn't going to see as many winters as Thorin was.

It was easier that way.

It didn't matter after all that Bilbo wasn't going to live as long, how many couples did live and die at the same time as their partners? Dis had lost her partner many many years previous and she was still thriving. Thorin would not fall apart when Bilbo died, because they would be together again in the next life.

The years they had left did matter, they mattered to Thorin and they mattered to Bilbo's nephew but they didn't seem to matter to Bilbo because the last 50 years of his life had been the best because he had spent every one of them at Thorin's side.

So Bilbo let Thorin forget how old he was and didn't pay attention to how he changed the subject when anyone mentioned it. He didn't moan or hark at the dwarf for never congratulating him on becoming 60 or when he reached 80.

Thorin could pretend for as long as he wanted that Bilbo was nowhere near the end of his life expectancy. That he would always be 50 with plenty more years to go. Bilbo didn't mind, whatever made it easier for Thorin to accept. He could play along.


	8. Best way to a mans heart BilboBofur

**Prompt: **Bombur tries to set Bofur up with Bilbo so that he can live in the Shire with them and eat seven meals a day.

**8. The Best Way to a Man's Heart  
Is Through his Brothers Stomach**

Breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper. Seven meals in just one day! Bombur could hardly believe his ears. Especially when Bilbo himself was so small and lean looking.

He couldn't ever imagine wanting to live anywhere but Erebor when he was younger, it was part of the reason he had agreed to sign up to the quest. Now, oh now Bombur could quite easily imagine himself living comfortably in a hole under the ground in Hobbiton.

With a warm fire lit Smial and a pantry over flowing with smoked meats and towering cheese circles, fresh fruit pies cooling on the window sill and jars over flowing with Jam and homemade honey biscuits.

His stomach rumbled in agreement.

The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like the perfect place for Bombur to set up home. Once the quest was over he would have more than enough to afford a little place within the Shire if he really wanted.

The only problem was, he didn't have a reason to return to The Shire once the quest was over. His home was in Erebor with his cousin and his brother, he would stick out like a sore thumb in Hobbition and as friendly as he was with Bilbo Baggins they weren't close enough that Bombur making the long journey from Erebor for a cup of tea would not have passed unsuspiciously.

Glancing up at the sound of his brothers booming laughter he was met with the sight of Bofur and Bilbo laughing over the cooking pot, Bilbo playfully threatening to slap the dwarf with his wooden spoon when he got too close.

And it hit him. Having a brother living in the Shire was the perfect excuse to go back and visit as much as he liked, even the perfect excuse for him to make the move permanent.

The pair of them were already quite close, his brother always walked at the back of the company beside Bilbo, each of them laughing as they traded tales and old drinking songs, Bilbo more often than not would roll out his bedroll beside Bofur's.

Bofur was always the first to ensure that Bilbo was keeping up and wasn't hurt, that he was getting plenty to eat and sleeping comfortably in the cold. Bombur had seen his brother fawn all over others before and he was definitely smitten with the burglar as far as Bombur could see.

A smirk worked its way into the corners of his mouth when Bofur affectionately ruffled the Hobbits hair as he passed by with a tower of empty bowls.

It was so simply.

Except that it really wasn't.

**# # #**

Step One, Bombur mused was making sure that Bilbo reciprocated Bofur's feelings.

Which was harder than Bombur thought it would be, especially when he didn't have any concrete evidence that Bofur did indeed have feeling for the hobbit. He couldn't very well just go up and ask either of them if they were in love with each other.

It would have to be done with tact.

Without either of them knowing that he was fishing for clues or that he was trying to play cupid.

Of course that led him to where he was now, lying flat on his stomach under a bramble bush watching Bilbo and Bofur laugh merrily while gathering branches for the fire. Rolling his eyes when Bilbo turned with a shake of his head and Bofur's smile fell into a soft quirk of his lips and he stared doey eyed at the back of Bilbo's head.

His brother was definitely smitten in regards to the Hobbit.

Bilbo on the other hand was a whole different story, Bombur didn't know him well enough to know if Bilbo felt anything other than friendship, he was a whole other kettle of fish and Bombur had spent all day watching him carefully without really seeing anything.

He was almost ready to give up and return back to camp with the others when Bilbo's face broke into the widest smile Bombur has ever seen and he laughed before leaning forward to casually dislodge the twig snagged in his brother's hat.

They were so close and Bofur's smile had fallen and his face was almost the colour of Bilbo's waistcoat, not that Bilbo had noticed, he was too busy having a panic attack over his impulsive action.

He couldn't pull back now he was too close. But something about the whole thing was rather innocent and intimate at the same time, when he eventually did pull away he's flushed and swallowing repeatedly with nothing to say.

Bombur almost crawled out of the bush to get a better look at the pair of them, he might not even have to put step 2, 3 and 4 into action at this rate, they're so close and inching ever closer to each other. A kiss is almost inevitable.

But as luck would have it Bombur's boot hits a rather loud stick and the sound alerts Bilbo and Bofur to where they are and what they're doing and as quick as it happened they're pulling away and laughing nervously.

Bombur curses his bad luck.

At least he doesn't have to worry about Bofur having his heart broken.

# # #

Step Two; Talk Bofur up to Bilbo as much as possible.

Bombur couldn't see how this part of the plan could possibly fail. It was possibly the easiest thing in the world. He could casually bring Bofur's achievements into conversation and no one would bat an eyelid.

"Bofur can drink twice his body weight in ale," Bombur said casually, elbowing Bilbo. "I once saw him drink a whole tavern of dwarves under the table." He continued beaming despite Bilbo's confusion.

"That's, uh. Impressive?" Bilbo replied, sounding more like a question that he had meant.

Bombur regarded the Hobbit carefully for a second, he didn't seem as impressed as Fili and Kili looked as they ease dropped. Perhaps Bilbo was looking for something a little more solid. Drinking was struck from the list.

"He once broke a dwarf's nose," He said instead and realised quickly that it was the wrong thing to say.

Bilbo looked mortified at the thought of gentle, innocent Bofur breaking someone else's nose. He looked even more unimpressed then he had before. Bombur quickly ruled out displays of strength from his list as well. "Why?" Bilbo asked.

"They were laughing at Bifur," Bombur answered slowly. Bilbo's eyes softened and a small smile quirked at the corners of his lips. Okay, family was definitely staying on the list. "He apologized after Bifur clipped him over the head." Bombur laughed and despite himself Bilbo snickered.

Bombur felt himself bristle with pride when Bilbo looked affectionately over at Bofur talking quietly with Bifur. Bombur could almost already taste his first home-made Hobbit raspberry pie in the Shire.

"He's good at cards too," Bombur threw in, drawing Bilbo's attention back to him. "Not as good as Nori is, but he use to teach me how to play all of the time."

"That's nice," Bilbo smiled before turning back down to his supper.

"He makes great toys, you should see all of the dwarfing's when he and Bifur have their cart out in the town." Bombur beamed, "He's always giving poor families toys that he can't sell. Bifur thinks he's wasting his time."

Bilbo was smiling now and looking up at Bofur.

"He's very good with —"

"Who's that?" Bofur grinned offering half of his bread to Bilbo who accepted it with a soft smile of thanks. "Who's he rabbiting on about now? I haven't seen the pair of you talk so much since we left the Shire."

"He was talking about you," Bilbo interjected, Bofur turned to his brother and frowned.

Bombur coughed awkwardly and stuffed the last of his bread in his mouth to avoid Bofur's questioning look. He was being too obvious, he could see the calculating look in Bofur's eyes as he studied Bombur.

Maybe talking Bofur up so much in one day was too obvious.

"All good stuff I hope." Bofur laughed instead, settling down by Bilbo's legs on the ground.

Bombur didn't say anything Bofur related for the rest of the night and pleaded his innocence when Bofur cornered him the next morning about it, Bofur didn't look any more convinced than Bombur sounded but eventually he dropped it.

Bombur thanked his lucky stars.

# # #

Step Three was easy enough all he had to do was convince Bofur that moving to the Shire was for the best once he and Bilbo were together.

Bofur had never truly expressed a fondness to return to Erebor and he hadn't much minded staying in the Blue Mountains either, as long as there was an inn with good ale and plenty of business he was happy to live anywhere.

Saying that, Bombur had never truly seen Bofur unhappy. He had seen his brother smile all the way through his heart break and make light of the fact that their mother hadn't come on the final caravan from Erebor. He was a glass half full kind of guy which worked in Bombur's favour.

It meant that Bofur could quite easily set up home anywhere. Including Hobbiton.

"The Shire's nice," Bombur began as they packed up their sleeping rolls that morning.

Bofur paused for a second looking over his bed roll to Bombur curiously. "Yeh, I suppose it is."

"I bet it's nice in the summer," Bombur continued not looking up from his own pack as he spoke.

"I bet it is," Bofur answered slowly.

"Bilbo said that the Inn has the best Ale he's ever tasted." Bombur smiled.

"I don't doubt." Bofur said before shrugging his shoulders and returning to his half-rolled bed roll. They were leaving soon and he didn't doubt that they would leave him behind if he wasn't packed and ready to go.

"With all them wee Hobbitlings running around I'm sure toys must be in constant—"

"What are ye doing?" Bofur interrupted, his brow furrowed in frustrating curiosity as Bombur lifted his pack off the ground and flung it over his shoulder.

"Nothing!" Bombur defended quickly. Too quickly.

"Ye'are! I can tell. You're up to something." Bofur accused sceptically. "Tell me."

Bombur laughed low in the back of his throat and patted Bofur on the shoulder. "I'm really not, brother."

Bofur looked ready to protest but instead shook his head and stuffed his bedroll haphazardly into his pack, glaring at Bombur before stalking off to join the others. Bombur frowned, that hadn't gone how he had wanted.

It wasn't until mid-day after they had stopped for a quick lunch that he realised that Bofur was sat listening to Bilbo tell him stories of the Shire and the faraway look Bofur had when Bilbo smiled widely and enthused about the rolling hills and the babbling brooks.

Of course Bombur couldn't sell Bofur on the idea, Bilbo on the other hand was doing an exceptional job of reeling his brother into Bombur's way of thinking. He did take credit for suggested the idea in the first place, Bofur had never been that interested before Bombur mentioned something.

"The Shire really does sound nice," Bofur whispered to Bombur as they started walking again, Bofur's eyes settled softly on Bilbo walking between Fili and Kili.

Step three was complete.

# # #

Step four; was asking Bombur to attempt the impossible, the initiation of courtship.

As a dwarf first courting gifts were a trinket fashioned out of gems or gold, a symbol of their trade and their dedication to their intended. Bofur was a minor by trade so gems and stones found after days of digging would have been acceptable in Erebor, hand crafted toys would also be accepted since he was a known toy maker.

To a dwarf.

Courting gifts for a Hobbit on the other hand were a whole other ball game. Bilbo had already mentioned in passing that he didn't care for gold or gems or fancy chains. He was, as he so proudly stated 'a simple Hobbit.'

That was where issue number one arouse. What did Hobbits give as courting gifts? Food? Flowers? Frilly tissues? Bombur didn't have the first idea of what Bilbo would expect as a courting gift never mind how Bofur was going to acquire it.

And that led onto issue number two, Bofur and Bilbo didn't know. He was attempting to initiate courting between two individuals who had no idea that they were even courting. Bombur had hoped that it would propel at least one of them to act out.

Wishful thinking maybe.

Since he couldn't act on Bilbo's behalf Bombur volunteered himself to play Bofur's part. He imagined his brother would be the one to make the first move, only he was back to issue number one. What did Hobbits give as courting gifts?

"Flowers," Gandalf laughed merrily at the side of him. "I think Mister Baggins would appreciate flowers." He added, Bombur looked ready to kick himself.

"How do you—"

"I know all, Master Bombur." Gandalf smiled his eyes twinkling mischievously as he stalked ahead.

Bombur hated mind reading wizards.

But Gandalf knew Hobbits better than any of them so flowers it was going to be, looking around himself as they walked he wasn't in short supply of colourful plants to pluck.

Then came issues number three, traditional courting gifts were given in person in private. Privacy within their little camp was non-existent. A dwarf could hardly use the bathroom without the rest of the company knowing about it.

He couldn't just leave them by Bilbo's head while he was asleep, nor could he very well waltz up the Hobbit and hand them to him, something about giving gifts on his brothers behalf seemed too childish and Bilbo would never believe that Bofur was shy.

And he couldn't exactly push them into Bofur's hand and demand he give them to Bilbo… or could he.

Bofur almost fell off the stump he was whittling on when Bombur shoved an array of brightly coloured flowers under his nose. "Uh, I'm flattered but yer not really my type." He tried with a grin when Bombur rolled his eyes.

"They're for Bilbo." Bombur stated flatly, Bofur's smile fell and Bombur watched as his brother swallowed thickly and dipped his head to shadow his eyes. Interesting.

"Why are you giving him flowers? Is my baby brother in love?!" Bofur snickered his voice tight.

"No!" Bombur cried. "They're for him from you."

"From me?" Bofur questioned. "Why are you picking flowers for me to give to him?"

Bombur was stumped for a second. It was a valid question and he didn't really have a good answer for it. Why would he pick flowers for his brother to give away? "Uh, because… It doesn't matter, just give him them."

Bofur despite all the confusion took them from Bombur's hand and cleared his throat as he stood up. Bombur watched as he fussed for a second with his hat and then his tunic before making his way over to Bilbo and handing him the flowers.

They talked in hushed whispers and when Bombur finally heard Bofur say, "I just thought ye'd like `em cause you miss yer garden. Nothing else I swear." Bombur could have thumped him over the head.

Why was this so hard!?

# # #

Step five was breaking point. Step four had failed and instead of watching his brother and the Hobbit fawn all over each other and confess their love. He was stuck walking behind the pair of them as they pretended nothing had happened for three days.

At this point he was almost ready to just drag them into the woods and demand they tell each other.

That was how he found himself once again lying flat on his stomach under a bramble bush.


End file.
